Going to talk into the void. Don't really care if you read, ignore, or if I'm blocked. I do hope you're doing well either way and choose to do what's best for you.

I can't believe we were only speaking again a week ago — feels like a lifetime ago. So much has happened and is happening since then. Closed all my social media accounts yesterday because it was getting a bit too much, leaving me feeling empty or not present…

Two paragraphs removed for peace keeping purposes.

Anyway, without social media and cheap dopamine, you popped back into my mind just before I was about to read Never Finished by David Goggins.

Most of this message was about myself — not because I don't know you anymore. My heart feels love for you, my soul cares for you, and my mind is no longer caught on you (also got my normal libido back — this message is not being driven by that, I promise).

This is messy because my consciousness is just a stream and I'm writing unplanned as ideas come to mind. I want to talk to you — I'm moving out next week. I'll be in a good place and would appreciate having you in my life. I spoke to my dad; he said don't go there with that psycho — he may be right. You did mention maybe you're too broken, but my faith in a person, in God's ability to touch a soul and restore someone, is limitless.

Just wish you the best. And although I don't want you to think you're special because none of us are — you are so special to me. It's also so fkn cold, omg.

Uh, that's basically it. Outside of work this is a lonely season for me, building my little community up especially now since I'm autonomous and going to be self reliant.

Am I reaching out to you because I'm lonely? Alone? Honestly, if I had someone I probably wouldn't have thought of you — I've let go. It's just I know we both have more good to give.

Tempted to put this through ChatGPT to smooth out the edges, but I want it raw and messy — me. Hope this reaches you well. I have some uncertainty if it will, as you have mostly shut me out entirely, have a poor perception on me, and mostly shoot me down — but hey, I don't like staying down for long.